Tuesday, November 15, 2016

We interrupt this chapter to bring you something you hadn't thought of yet

I don't want to jinx it, but I've been writing.

They needed more words for the piece that's going into the anthology. Now, truth? I'd have liked to get it up to the 10,000 they wanted, but I got to 6k. It's over half... less than what I wanted, but more than I thought I'd get done a month ago.

It's weird about what I wrote. I'm pleased enough with it, but I'm still not sure if this is the way to go. My writing seems ok. The voice of the two characters I'm going back and forth between is maybe a little too similar. I'll need to work on that. I'm not sure there is too much of a distinction between how people speak, so much as what they say. And young people, friends, tend to mimic speech patterns so I'm not sure it's going to be an issue. The funniest thing though, was that I planned to end the piece one way, and ended another. As I wrote, the plan I had was interrupted in my brain, by something entirely different. It had an element of the story that I knew was going to happen, but not now... it was coming later in a different way. I was pleasantly surprised by this shift in thinking... the abrupt intrusion of a component that I hadn't been expecting forced me to rethink the action. It was fun in a way that writing hasn't been in a long time.

This is just the beginning... I'm barely two chapters in, but now that I'm writing again I feel like I need to keep going. I am far better with plotting than winging it, but I think allowing for change is important. For too long I've clenched, unwilling to yield my structured thoughts of how this story would play out. Now I've hit a bump in the road that my character was not prepared for .. that I was not prepared for... and I have to write my way out of it.

I feel like if I can do this for say, twenty more days ... I could have a book. Yay!

#amwriting
 

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Winning and losing

So, I was asked to join this writing 'club' by a book publisher from Wales. They would be facilitating this gathering of would-be writers, allowing us to post our work over the period from October 1 to October 31 in preparation for NaNoWriMo. The goal was (is... because it isn't over) to write 10,000 words. The idea is to get writing, and the other members and the staff of the publishing company would be providing feedback.

This is my game. I love reading other people's work and helping it along. I think I have a pretty good eye for grammar and punctuation and I'm fairly good at seeing what works and what doesn't work in terms of 'writing'. Elements like plot and character.... I can help people see better ways to show, not tell etc. In some ways I think I'm more of an editor than writer (except when it comes to my own work of course).

It has been quite a month. About thirty people signed up and at least twenty have posted, most more than once. I have critiqued every posted piece of work. When it started, that was my plan. I know how it feels to have people read your stuff and then just disappear, so I commented even on works that were difficult in the sense that the writer was obviously inexperienced. I managed to give valid criticism, but also provide encouragement. I'm really pleased with that.

One writer in particular had an interesting premise. Her work started out with what appeared to be a synopsis, but with its detail and description I could tell she didn't mean it as one. This was her first chapter. I gave her my thoughts on her description (very good) but told her how it read like a list of things that happened, without anything actually happening because we, the reader, couldn't see it. I suggested that she write as though she were describing a movie, and use dialogue to advance her plot and show her characters -- I worried that I was a little harsh, but I actually liked what she wrote --- wow... she thanked me at the beginning of her next piece and it's like I flipped a switch for her. Her next chapter was like a real book. The change was stunning and I feel so happy for her because she heard a critique and she used what she heard.

I had planned to write something new... a time travel piece (sort of ) that I began to plot years ago. I thought it might be a diversion from Zoe because we all know how that is going. Needless to say, I found myself not really wanting to write. I was busy critiquing and procrastinating ... so I decided to submit what I had finished of Zoe in increments -- a total of just under 4,000 words. Well... I won top prize ... a prize I didn't even realize existed! What I have completed of Zoe will be published in Rowanvale's anthology along with four others and I have the option of choosing from several other publishing perqs offered by the company.

I realize part of this is marketing on their part... offering service at a discount as part having participated, but it was such a thrill to see my (pen)name in an email at the top of the list of winners.

But now I have to finish the damn book.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

The Writing Life


Whether it's writing a book... creating anything really... you have so many ups and downs. You doubt, you believe, you fear, you give up, you come back to it, you trash it, you find your groove and you're done. Well, probably not, but you're at a point where you know it's all done but the real work of editing, sending it out, etc.

I pulled this image because it's a reminder I'm not alone. The person who made this felt alone but knew that others would recognize the struggle. It's universal.

My change would come at the end there... where it says 'Wait, now what?' the line should descend much lower. That is the bottomless feeling. Next time -- this time -- I'll do it right.

Friday, August 26, 2016

It's a Matter of Trust

Last year was so frenetic, that although I fretted often, things happened so quickly that I didn't have time to brood. I have more time to brood right now, to stress, to worry, to ruminate about all the worst case scenarios ... none to write of course, but plenty to contemplate the many ways things can go wrong.

Much as I am trying to free my mind of doubt, it keeps going back and back to fear. History bears out that everything works out in the end and that all will resolve itself in wonderful ways and I am blessed. It's almost as though by stressing, I feel I am participating in the cosmic maneuvering required for the universe to unfold as it should.

In the end, despite all the lamentation, I trust. I believe that everything works out for me in a positive way... because it always has. I believe that despite my worrying, the best is yet to come and will be here soon. I believe that little setbacks are setting me up for greater things. I am grateful for all that I have and all the great things that are on their way. I whine, I complain, I worry... but I trust.
Thank you. 

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Just do it

All the writing advice in the world is summed up in that one line.

And yet the internet is filled with writers and would-be writers lamenting the fact that they aren't ...or in many cases, that they literally feel like they can't. As you are well aware by now, I've been amongst them.

By now, I've done enough navel-gazing that I know all of the things holding me back and I've invented even a few more and honestly, I'm getting tired of the excuses.

I have a FB 'Friend' who made a decision to just write, from 5 am - 7am every day, and she's doing it. It's becoming a habit. It's so easy to establish bad habits, not so with good ones, but obviously she's onto something.

This morning... again as I drove in to work, I had the urge to write. My intention was to open up the word processor and start writing the second I got in. I've been here an hour and done everything but. I've certainly developed the habit of not following through.  

Friday, July 29, 2016

Nope


Why does the blank page intimidate me so much. It's important to me, and yet each time I go to open up the word processor, I stall. Actually, it used to be that I'd open up the word processor, lately, I don't even get that far. I have my finger on the mouse, hovering over the icon... and if I know it's for writing... nope.

I have the time.
I have the resources at my finger tips.
I have the experience.
And still.
Hesitation.

The above quote appears to be true. It seems true. It makes sense. But writing is important to me. And still I manage to make excuses. I don't think it's as simple as it seems. I think things can be so important to you that you avoid them out of... yes... here's that word again... fear.

It's different talking to myself on this blog. I can say whatever I like and there is no editor... not even me. I just talk. With writing writing, the expectation of an audience is ever-present. It's the game changer. It's the excuse.

Maybe I should just start talking to myself.

 

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Courage

There is a whole world out there filled with tragedy and by comparison, I am well blessed. Most of us, regardless of pain or trials, would never choose to switch lives with someone else, even someone we feel is better off in any of the ways we hope for ourselves. I think what I'm looking for is the courage to live my life differently...although I'm not really sure what that means.

When I compare my life to the lives of my peers, I realize that so many of the choices I've made or did not make were out of fear. Fear of the circumstance, fear of other people's reactions, fear of failure... whatever. Fear has been the driving force in my life. That and guilt.

When Winter Comes has a protagonist much like me. She lets things happen to her rather than making choices and taking chances. Maybe that's why the book hasn't been a success. It resonates with me, but most people want a hero. They want someone who does something... not someone things just happen to.

We aren't all doers though. The world is a mix of those who act, those who react and those who just stand and wait. Much as quiet, stable inertia is my preferred state, I'm can't keep living like this. But when you've trained yourself not to move, you don't move. Habit digs in and you wait.

Lord help me.